I'm keen to continue to raise awareness about mental health and one way I can do that is through my blog. Writing about it, I feel, not only helps me offload, I hope that is also helps others find strength in the knowledge that they are not alone. Mental health causes a lonely reality in your head, it can make you feel like you are the only one and you can even begin to question whether you are in fact poorly or whether you've just got "stuck in a rut".
Despite a lot of people in the world walking around with blinkers on, because in truth they don't want to deal with someone "moaning", mental health issues exist all around us:

• Mental health problems are one of the main causes of the overall disease burden worldwide.
• Mental health and behavioural problems (e.g. depression, anxiety and drug use) are reported to be the primary drivers of disability worldwide, causing over 40 million years of disability in 20 to 29-year-olds.
• Major depression is thought to be the second leading cause of disability worldwide and a major contributor to the burden of suicide and ischemic heart disease.
• It is estimated that 1 in 6 people in the past week experienced a common mental health problem

I admit, everyone's situation is different. Some deal with it better than others; some take medication, some have natural or herbal remedies, some have overcome the majority of their obstacles and some don't know the way out anymore. But despite it being a difficult and risky to talk about it in my position, I feel like I have no other option if this is one way I can not only help myself, but help someone else, even in a very small way, somewhere in the world.


So, what is it like?
Since I became diagnosed with depression, and I was put on a course of medication, I know it is something I battle with constantly. I no longer take medication, I'm averse to it at the moment, but there are days I really struggle to put on a smile, get out of bed and pretend the world is amazing. It's a battle that often gives me headache, sometimes for days, because of the WWIII going on in my head, mixed with the frustration that I can't stop it. I can't stop feeling crap and it's so hard to drag yourself up and out of the black hole you're falling. Sometimes it's just so tiring and you have no energy to fight it anymore.


Have you ever / do you ever

This is how I feel, daily. That isn't because I'm on the edge, this is just what my experience is with the illness that I've got. Yes, I have good days. Sometimes I feel more lifted than other days and less challenged. Some days I end smiling, some days I end over-thinking every aspect of what is going to happen or what has happened.


Having depression is a constant battle. I believe it makes me introverted, which in return causes me to have very few friends. It can make me sad, which people interpret as moody, which in return makes people view me in a different light. It stops me being, who I think I am, deep down - but it is also what makes me stronger, every day.


The sad thing about the perceptions of others is that - I would help anyone. I care, deeply, about people and their feelings and I would listen and support absolutely anyone. That's just who I am. Yet, likely for the reasons above, people just don't "like me", and that's hard to live with daily too. But I'm learning to not care as much! Because as harsh as that sounds, self-care is more important than caring for others. Truthfully, if you can't look after yourself, how can you look after anyone else?


My wife and my children are the most precious people to me. My wife lifts my up on a daily basis, she is a strength I never knew I could have. They all make me smile and feel better. They make me feel loved, cared for and most of all - make me feel human. My wife and my children are the reasons I still get up each day, despite the fact I could just lay in bed and shy away from the world.


Despite everything, I know it will get easier, one day. The pressures will ease, the fog will clear. The light at the end of the tunnel will stop being a train and it will become actual light, permanently. Everything will seem more real, more fresh. My mind will be clear and I will be the person I know I can be. I just have to find the key to the box and put this illness inside, lock it with a key and sit on the box.


Regardless of who you are, you will get through any mental illness you are suffering. There is always a way out and always an open door, you just have to find it and have the courage to step through. Be strong. Because you matter, regardless of what you think now, you do matter. Always remember that. And whilst I aren't promising your illness will ever "go away permanently", because mine hasn't - you can learn to put it in the box and sit on it! Keep it where it belongs, banging and screaming and making you work to keep it there - but eventually, it'll just get easier. Really, it will.

“I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value.”

It is true that the optimists, the positive thinkers, amongst us are at an advantage in life compared to pessimists. This is because of the effect your mindset and attitude have on everything we come across.

Our social relationships, our job and also our health are an integral part of our daily life and we can feel how negative and positive thoughts can have a domino effect on everything we do during the day.

The way we choose to think, positive or negative, has a great impact on the final outcome and is mirrored in everything we do. Hence the importance of having a balanced outlook on life.

I've written a few times recently, on social media, about the impact of our daily decisions and the choices we make. How it can affect our mood, our outlook, and even our performance both professionally and personally.

"Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of travelling." ~Margaret B. Runbeck

Being happy changes everything, but it also means everything. No one single person in this world has the right to make you unhappy. No job, no amount of money, no relationship, no friendship, no anything is worth being unhappy for.

"Happiness is the new rich"

Wake up with a positive attitude. If you're unhappy, change your direction, you'll thank yourself for it later. But also turn every negative into a positive. There's a lesson to be learned from everything in life. You can take something from every situation, good or bad, you just need to have the ingenuity to find it. And once you find it, use it to build yourself up. 

As I've blogged before, I was bullied a lot as a child. I was always quiet and rather reserved - but I never really felt I had my chance to show people my worth. I didn't ever feel my peers got to see me for who I thought I was. I didn't have the confidence to outshine any bullying, to stand up to them, to look them in the face and say no.

Naturally, unless you can mentally build your confidence, bullying will mentally break you down. It takes away any confidence you have remaining and it can damage you for life.

I don't particularly have any memories of a time where I didn't feel threatened during my time in school, where I felt confident, where I felt safe. It became a way of life for me. I knew who to avoid and how to avoid them - which way to walk home and what time to wait until before setting off.

Because I didn't ever enough about me to build up my confidence, I still have long lasting effect. And that is my fault - I could've tried harder. Now, I accurately stereotype the people I am near or with and determined their behaviour which subsequently determines how I act around them. My behaviours have followed me through life, my confidence has remained low. I struggle to overcome it, when you do something for so long, it becomes normal.

I still immediately go to the corner of a room, to sit on my own in a room full of people. I let people push in the queue to save myself from a punch or a kick, like when I used to line up for dinner as a child. I avoid groups of lads on the street, in case I receive unpleasant abuse - and I instantly look at the floor so I can't get called up for looking at them in the wrong way. I apologise too much, even when I haven't done anything wrong. I take too much personally. I keep a lot to myself. I find it difficult to "talk" and my self-esteem is non-existent. I'm not a party animal, I have very few friends because I find it difficult to socialise and I think I've tarnished myself with a brush which results in people taking a dislike to me. I'm reserved, I'm quiet and I think too deeply. But that's me, it's the way I am - what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

My goal here isn't to fix me, it is to try and fix others - if I can, through being open and honest about me. It's embarrassing and it takes a lot of strength to publish a blog about it. I want my children to grow up with the confidence I never had and I want someone struggling to find the courage to build their confidence to beat those who hurt them most. If you can build your confidence, if you can learn to stand up tall, rise above whatever low-life is trying to pull you down, be strong and demonstrate your worth - without being arrogant, then you will start to pave the right path for you. Remember that you are important, just as important as everyone else. You are worth something. You have your own qualities and strengths. You are valuable in some way and there are people who love you for who you are, as you are.

So walk tall, with a smile on your face and refuse to let the minorities affect how you live, you will build your confidence and you will beat the bullies. One thing I have learnt is that they hate to see you smile, to see you happy, succeeding and making friends. They hate it with a passion and it overcomes them so much they'll eventually get bored. Bullies are jealous people, one of the worst traits a person can have. It oozes out of them like a steam from freshly baked bread. They single out and pick on the vulnerable and confidence reduces your vulnerability.

Being a parent is by far the most difficult, challenging, frustrating and tiring responsibility of any that you could have in life. However, it is also the most rewarding, enjoyable and fortunate too.

The minute you become a parent, or even the minute you find out you're going to be one - the opportunities that are presented to you for you to worry are ten a penny. Anxiety, stress and worry as a parent is normal (or should be as without it, you lack compassion, surely). Even when they grow up and become independent, capable of so much on their own like walking to school, going for a bike ride, even making their own breakfast and of course, annoying you on purpose - the worry does not end. Naturally, regardless of this, any good parent wants their children to be happy, have friends, be sociable, do well in school and live. 

But being a parent and having those responsibilities should not be taken for granted or abused. As a parent, you not only have a responsibility to your children but also to the rest of the world to raise your child in a way that makes the world a better place. You see, you should raise your child to be the best of you. To be the type of person who has respect, dignity, integrity, tolerance, humour and kindness. To raise a child to be ignorant, intolerant and unkind, who has no respect, is not their fault - it is simply bad parenting.

I appreciate not every child turns out how you would want, no matter how good your parenting skills are - some go off the rails and lose the morals you have instilled in them, but this is not about the choices they make, it is about the choices you make on how to raise them.

Every single day of a child's life, as a parent, you teach them right from wrong. You teach them something that is factually correct (or completely incorrect if you chose), but whatever you chose to tell them - they will believe. Because they are children. With that power, comes great responsibility.

For example, I teach my fifteen-month-old that a dog barks, a cat meow's and a cow moo's, but I could equally mix all of those up and she would grow up believing that as factually correct. It is my responsibility to make sure that what she learns, how she behaves, is right.

It saddens me to see that more often, parents make the wrong choice. They abuse their position of power, their fortunate responsibility of being a parent. They teach their children to act in the wrong way, to treat people with aggression and arrogance rather than tolerance and kindness.

Yes, every parent is scared of the world our children are growing up in - it's a particular shit storm at the moment and no-one knows where it's heading. But ultimately, we still have a responsibility. No matter what life throws at you, retain your dignity, integrity and respect. If every child was brought up this way, it would make the world a better place - bit by bit.

So, having a child isn't just about how much money they can get you, or how much attention you receive from it - having a child is one of the worlds greatest gifts. Do not teach your child to be ungrateful, unkind, thoughtless, impatient, cocky, arrogant or self-righteous. Teach them to be grateful for everything they receive, kind to anyone they meet, thoughtful at every moment of their lives, patient with even the most difficult of people and ultimately an honourable person. They will thank you for it in the end and you'll have the pride of knowing you've raised a good citizen and it might be tiny, but you've changed a part of the world - because those types of people are getting harder to come by.